Oh, Stang I'm a Force Ghost!
by Idrelle Miocovani
Summary: Mara Jade Skywalker has died, and her transition into the afterlife is anything but peaceful. Will she be able to get her chance at haunting Jacen before Anakin and Anakin manage to drive her crazy?
1. It's Not Easy Being Dead

**A/N:** This is possibly the silliest thing I have ever written. This was started back in October '07 as a Hallowe'en fic. I got sidetracked about halfway through and finally finished writing it now. It's six chapters long, and completely silly the entire way through. Don't take it seriously at all. Spoilers for Sacrifice and LotF.

* * *

**Oh Stang, I'm a Force Ghost!**

* * *

**I. It's Not Easy Being Dead**

The young man folded his hands behind his head and leaned back, broodingly watching the flickering holovid. His legs were crossed and he tapped one foot impatiently in the air to a beat only he could hear; he sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes.

The Galaxy was falling apart without him. Civil wars and rising Sith Lords trying to create as much havoc as possible… He should _be_ there – be there to smack his stupid, idiotic brother on the head and knock some sense into him; _be_ there to enjoy being an uncle; be _there_ to enjoy running around fixing the Galaxy, as all Jedi did.

Or at least – as all Jedi _should._

But no! He just had to go and die on Myrkr, which – in his opinion – had been, while tragically heroic, a very bad idea in the first place.

So much for heroics. The only good thing about them, he had come to realize, was that you were greatly admired afterwards. But, of course, you could only appreciate the admiration if you were alive in the first place…

Grimacing, he shook the train of thought from his mind. There was a bright side to being dead – thoughts were easy to dispel. If he didn't want to think about anything, he could easily dismiss it and never have the thought bother him again; until, of course, he thought of it. It was so much easier not to think about anything when one was dead. It was a trait he had come to enjoy very much in these boring days. It wasn't easy, being dead…

The young man brushed a strand of brown hair off his face and continued to stare at the holovid. It had been with much anticipation and effort that he had built that holovid. It was very special – not only had he painstakingly constructed it from thoughts alone, it transmitted whatever he wanted to see. This allowed him to keep an eye on the Galaxy without having to go through the whole tedious business of learning the ways of the Force that allowed him to communicate with it. It was a secret he _could_ potentially learn – he did have the resources, after all – but he just hadn't gotten around to it. Yet.

For the first time in a long time, a frown appeared on his face, replacing the lazy expression. The scene – an epic lightsaber duel between two very familiar people – flickered before him momentarily and then he found himself rising up in anger.

Literally.

He barely noticed that he was floating several feet above the floor, his mouth open in outrage. A pained expression flitted over his face and his thoughts were projected so forcefully that they echoed around the room.

_NO!_

He threw his boot viciously at the holovid and hissed in annoyance when it passed right through it with ease.

_No, Jacen, you, you…_

The word _idiot_ didn't seem to encompass his irate feels at that moment. Still floating several feet above the floor like a balloon, he watched in horror as his aunt was struck by the poisoned dart his brother held and collapsed.

_Oh, well done, Jacen,_ he thought savagely. _Your sacrifice, huh? What a wonderful way to bring discord to the entire family._

_Stupid, kriffing Sith. Stupid, kriffing brother._

* * *

The first feeling she had as she was swept away into tantalizing darkness, was that she was _light._ She felt… oddly enough… weightless, as if she had merely gone on a spacewalk. Every emotion seemed to have been wiped clear from her and she floated contently.

Only when it seemed to be getting light again did some inkling of emotion wash over her. Surprisingly, considering her situation, it wasn't fear or anger – but confusion.

_What…?_

She was standing in a large, broad room that seemed to contain a single, large chair and a flickering holovid. Hovering near the ceiling, several feet in the air, was a young man dressed in a black jumpsuit.

She stared incredulously and then her jaw dropped as the young man turned around and fell out of the air.

"_Anakin?!"_

She rushed forwards to where he was sprawled unceremoniously on the floor. Anakin raised an eyebrow as he looked up at her from the floor and flashed the traditional Solo grin before pulling himself upright.

"Hi, Aunt Mara."

"This is a dream, right?" Mara said. Then she threw her hands over her face and shuddered. "Oh, Force, _please_ tell me this is a dream."

"Um…" Anakin's voice sounded hesitant. She slowly let her hands fall to her sides and she looked at him. He was standing now, an odd expression on his face. "Uh… Would you be mad if I said that this _isn't _a dream?"

Mara shot him as frosty a look as she could muster, but she felt the corners of her lips twitching. She forced herself not to smile.

"So this is what the afterlife is like, then," she said. "Watching people fall down from the ceiling. Very amusing."

Anakin folded his arms. "Oh, don't worry, that's just me. It tends to happen when I'm not concentrating."

"Oh?" Mara asked.

Anakin nodded and grinned again. "You see, here you have to _concentrate,_ otherwise…" His voice trailed off and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why aren't _you_ floating? You're not concentrating on keeping your feet on the floor are you?"

"I… what?"

Mara wondered dimly what her nephew was talking about. The afterlife must have addled his brains… or perhaps this was all a figment of her imagination.

"Or maybe," Anakin mused, speaking to himself as he looked at Mara, "you have someway of keeping yourself steady _subconsciously_… Or maybe –"

"Anakin, would you just… shut up or should I slap you?" Mara snapped fiercely.

"You can try," Anakin replied, grinning again. "Your hand might go right through me though; things tend to do that if you're not concentrating."

There was something very odd indeed going on here. Mara wasn't sure _what_ exactly she felt like doing – screaming in frustration or sitting down and trying to figure this out. There had to be some logical explanation for this.

"Yes," Anakin said mildly, "you're a ghost."

"I… _I'm a what?"_

"Welcome to the afterlife, Aunt Mara," Anakin said blithely. "Honestly."

"Oh, you're not serious!" she exclaimed.

"Look on the bright side," Anakin said, turning and throwing himself down on his chair, "at least I have someone to help me think of stupid names to call Jacen now!"

Mara stood still, looking at her nephew in horror.

_Stang… what happened to me?_


	2. One Chaotic Mess

**II. One Chaotic Mess**

If truth were to be told, Anakin thought his aunt really wasn't looking like herself. Of course, the obvious adjustments she had subconsciously made to herself during her transfer from living to dead had altered her appearance by a fraction – she was taller, her skin was darker and her brilliant red hair was now quite positively _shining_. But ignoring that, Mara Jade Skywalker looked as if she was about to be sick.

"Aunt Mara?" he asked tentatively.

She shot him a death glare. "Oh, go _away."_

"Are you all right?"

She drew herself up to her new, full height (which happened, to Anakin's dismay, to be about a foot taller than himself) and looked fiercely down her nose at him.

"Do you _think_ I'm all right having just been _murdered_ by my own nephew who's turned into a Sith Lord? Do you _think_ that I'll be fine having just been _separated_ from my son, my husband and my _family?_ Do you think –?"

"Did you think that _I'd_ be all right after being killed on a mission, leaving my sister to succumb to the Dark side and my brother to be captured and tortured and set on the path he is now?" Anakin retorted.

Mara looked angrily at him for a moment and then her expression relaxed. "Point taken."

"This… afterlife stuff just takes some getting used to, that's all," Anakin said mildly, lounging on his chair. "It's really not all that bad after you get used to it. It's like… moving to a new planet or something like that."

Mara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "If you want to be all bright and bubbly," she hissed, "do it someplace else."

"Bright and bubbly?" Anakin feigned a look of shock. Then he grinned. "Bubbly's good! Nothing wrong with bubbly!" He let his concentration slip for a moment and felt himself rising up off his chair. He watched Mara's astonished and somewhat horrified expression for a moment before he burst into laughter.

"Anakin!" Mara shouted. "Please, _be_ _serious!_"

_I think the afterlife has addled your brains! _her thoughts echoed loudly throughout the room.

"Maybe!" Anakin replied, trying to keep himself from floating through the ceiling. "You've already said that though!"

"How… _how…!"_ She sounded angry. Correction – she was angry. If he wasn't careful, she was probably going to throw something at him. Not that it would do any good anyways – it would just pass right through him.

"I can hear your thoughts," Anakin told her, concentrating again so he could bring himself back down to the floor. He landed next to her. "As can every being here."

"Every being?" Her green eyes widened. "You mean there are others than just you?"

"Yeah," Anakin said, putting his hands in his pockets. He shrugged. "They're not around right now. They're either meditating or off pretending to kill each other."

"Off pretending to _kill_ each other?" Mara looked like she was about to choke. "I thought the afterlife was supposed to be _peaceful."_

Anakin chuckled. "Oh no. It really isn't. When you've got Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi here, presenting themselves in their young forms, you can expect things to be a bit rowdy. Yoda _tries _to sort things out, but he doesn't really have any control over Grandfather. His ideas can be a bit… crazy. Last time I checked, Grandfather was insisting that he and Obi-Wan re-enact their duel on Mustafar."

A horrified expression flashed across his aunt's face momentarily before it was replaced with incredulity. _"Anakin Skywalker?"_

"Sure!" He shrugged again. "I've gotten to know Grandfather quite well, actually. He's taught me a lot of things. Like how to control the… the… afterlife-stuff around me so I can keep this room in contact." He waved a hand around, indicating the room.

Mara raised an eyebrow. "Afterlife stuff? What are you talking about?"

"Um…" Anakin's voice trailed away. How to explain it? _He'd_ learned by experimenting. None of them were quite sure _what_ their world was made of. It was forever changing – through use of what they _thought_ was the Force, they could create rooms and buildings or landscapes, but if they stopped concentrating, then whatever it was they had created would dissipate. If they let their minds go blank completely and forced even their subconsciousness to stop thinking, then they themselves could let their "spirits" subside into nothingness until they wished to take some kind of form again.

It was very complicated. Anakin didn't understand half of it; even _Yoda_ didn't understand it, and he was supposed to be one of the wisest spirits here. Except perhaps Qui-Gon understood it a bit better… but then, Anakin didn't know Qui-Gon very well. His impression was that Qui-Gon Jinn didn't quite think the same way that everyone else did, but that wasn't what bothered him the most. Anakin found it odd enough speaking to his Grandfather, let alone to the man who was essentially responsible for his Grandfather becoming a Jedi –

"You know perfectly well I can here what you're thinking," Mara interrupted acidly.

Anakin winced. "Oops. There's a shielding thing Anakin's been trying to teach me where you can shield your thoughts from other spirits, but I'm not very good at it. Yet."

Mara nodded, her expression unreadable. "Yes… _of course…"_

"Sorry," Anakin apologized, making a face. "It really is hard to explain. Everything has gone kind of… loony. All the natural limits we knew before are gone."

"Oh, really?" Mara replied sarcastically as she watched Anakin float back up into the air again. "I had _no_ idea."

Anakin sighed as he crossed his legs. Evidently his aunt thought this was either a very bad dream or she had gone completely mad or –

"I _heard_ that, Anakin!"

"Inconvenient, isn't it?" he quipped.

She rolled her eyes.

Anakin floated there for a moment, fixing a simple stare on his aunt, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable. They were silent for some time – he was unsure of how long because, after all, time was nothing more than a kind of… ball of timey-wimey stuff. Time didn't really exist. Finally, Mara gave in to the complete and utter chaotic freedom of this new world and floated upwards to join him.

"Are you okay, Aunt Mara?" Anakin asked. She _did_ look a little pale, after all.

She shot him a dark look. "Why don't you just read my thoughts?"

It was Anakin's turn to roll his eyes. "Um… okay… well…" He scratched his head. Of course, he was still a little surprised himself that it had been _Aunt Mara_, of all people, to join him so soon. Out of all the Jedi he had known, he would have not expected her. A flash of irritation and annoyance at his estranged brother shot through him for a brief moment before he forced himself to come back to the task at hand: teaching his aunt the ways of the after-life.

"I have a suggestion," he said brightly. "Why don't we go visit Grandfather?"

"I wish you'd stop that, Anakin," Mara growled. "Some people haven't been dead for as long as you have."

Anakin shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm sure Grandfather can do a better job at explaining this…" He paused, fishing for a word.

"Mess?" Mara suggested.

"If you want," Anakin said, grinning. "Chaotic mess. Who doesn't love chaotic mess?"

"I see the after-life has done wonders on your personality," Mara said sarcastically.

Anakin smiled impishly. "Stop sulking, Aunt Mara. Let's go see Grandfather. And if he can't explain well enough, we can ask Obi-Wan. And Yoda. And Qui-Gon. And –"

"And numerous other Jedi whose names I'm not familiar with," Mara said under her breath.

"Yep," Anakin replied brightly.

"So, where do we find them?" Mara asked.

Anakin hesitated. "Er… we don't."

Mara raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean, we don't?"

Anakin sighed. He _really_ needed to get some things sorted out before Mara went crazy. "Hang on, I'll call them. Or maybe not. They're already on their way, if I'm not mistaken. After all, everyone knows you're here, what with all the shouting you've been doing."

Mara raised her eyebrows and was about to retort when a new voice entered the conversation.

"So, I see my daughter-in-law has decided to join us. Great!"


	3. Anakin and Anakin

**III. Anakin and Anakin**

Mara turned around swiftly and wasn't sure what to think. Walking towards her was a young man who didn't look much older than Anakin. His resemblance to Luke was striking – right down to his blonde hair and blue eyes. There was an impish grin on his face that Mara wasn't completely comfortable with.

She opened her mouth to say something and was mildly surprised when nothing came out. She quickly glanced at her nephew, who shrugged, and then turned back to the young man who was – quite obviously – her father-in-law.

Mara felt as though her stomach had decided at that very moment to drop out.

"You… you… you –"

"Wow, Mara," Anakin Sr. said, brushing his hair off his forehead, "in all my years of observing the land of the living, I've never seen you this inarticulate."

"I… I…"

"It's okay, Aunt Mara," Anakin Jr. said, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in a impish grin that matched his grandfather's. "It's only Grandfather."

"Who _happens_ to be Darth Vader as well!"

Anakin Sr. grimaced. "I've left that persona behind me, as you know very well. I don't need to be reminded."

Mara covered her mouth with a hand, struggling to make sense of this weird world she had stumbled upon – or, to be more precise – been sent to by her kriffing nephew.

"Yeah, well, Jacen's not being very smart right now," Anakin Jr. said. "I've wanted to teach him a lesson, but every time I go to visit the 'land of the living,' as Grandfather puts it, he ignores me. I'm _sure_ he thinks I'm just a figment of his imagination now." He sighed dejectedly for a moment and then looked up again, a bright smile on his face. "Although, I suppose that since you're here now –"

"Which I _don't_ want to be –"

"Let's not start that again," Anakin Jr. cut across her. "None of us wanted to be here… well… that's not entirely true, I think Yoda and Qui-Gon both think it's fun, and I'm not sure about Obi-Wan—"

"What about me?"

Mara turned again and saw a man wearing Jedi robes materialize next to Anakin Sr. He had reddish hair and strikingly blue eyes and something was telling Mara that this had to be Obi-Wan Kenobi presenting himself in his younger form.

Before Mara or her nephew could say anything, Obi-Wan turned to Anakin and said, "Oh, you're here. I was wondering what all the commotion was about."

Anakin looked appalled. "Don't look at _me_, Master, I wasn't the one causing the commotion! Ask Anakin." He pointed at his grandson, who somehow managed to look slightly guilty.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Maybe we shouldn't have let Qui-Gon choose Anakin as Mara's welcoming party."

"Hey!" Anakin exclaimed, crossing his arms. "I'm doing a good job!"

Anakin Sr. and Obi-Wan exchanged looks and then glanced at Mara.

"Not from what we can tell," they said simultaneously.

Mara folded her arms, her green eyes flashing. She was becoming very irritated with them all. She had always heard people say that death was peaceful. She had the impression that they were all wrong – it was anything _but_ peaceful when you had Jedi as your welcoming party.

"All right, that's enough," she said crossly. "One of you tell me what's going on, and Anakin, I forbid you to talk."

Her nephew and her father-in-law exchanged glances and then both of them firmly shut their mouths and said nothing.

Mara sighed and rubbed her forehead. Nothing was ever simple. Ignoring both of her family members, she turned pleadingly to Obi-Wan.

"I'm sorry, Mara, but this is one situation you just have to accept," he told her gently. "There's no explanation. If you really want to complain to someone, you can try haunting your nephew, but as Anakin… well, Anakin Jr. can tell you, it doesn't work very well."

"Probably because there's something _really_ wrong with Jacen's mind," Anakin Jr. murmured darkly. "If you're a family member who's dead, he blocks you out." He paused and turned to his grandfather. "Did you do that?"

Anakin Sr. winced. "Anakin, what have I told you about asking me questions that relate to my not-so-pleasant previous life?"

"Oops," Anakin Jr. said, looking guilty again. "Sorry."

"But there _must_ be some kind of explanation," Mara said, interrupting Anakin and Anakin's side conversation.

"I know!" Anakin Jr. exclaimed. "Let's go see Qui-Gon! He'll explain it… or at least say something that sounds like an explanation!"

"That's an excellent idea," Obi-Wan said.

"Yeah," Anakin Sr. agreed. "Especially since our duel got interrupted by Mara's arrival."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Haven't you gotten over that _yet?"_

Anakin Sr. shrugged. "I still think I could have won, even when attacking from lower ground."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's not going to work?"

Anakin Sr. shrugged again and grinned. "You know how long it takes to get something like that to penetrate my thick skull."

Obi-Wan sighed. "All right, _all right_ – but you're going to lose again."

"That's why it's called a _re-enactment,_ Master. But I still think I'm going to win."

The air around them shimmered for a moment and then was transformed into a very fiery landscape. All four of them were standing on a landing platform built on a large formation of rock that jutted out from the river of lava that surrounded it. Around them, volcanoes exploded.

"It's a very good illusion," Anakin Jr. told Mara as they watched Anakin Sr. and Obi-Wan prepare for another re-enactment. "He's gotten quite good at making them. I think it's just because he's still frustrated that he lost that duel."

"Where are we?" Mara asked. She had heard of lava planets before, but she had never visited one.

"Mustafar," her nephew replied. He wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, you can smell the sulphur. I wish Grandfather didn't have to put in _all_ of the details. At least the lava won't hurt you if you decide to go swimming in it. Come on; I've watched them duel thousands of times, it's not really all that interesting."

"Where are we going?" Mara asked as her nephew took her hand. "How are we going to get there?"

"We're going to wherever Qui-Gon is at the moment," Anakin replied. "And you just need to think about it to leave the illusion."

The air around them shimmered for a moment and then everything disappeared.


	4. A Warped Reality

**IV. A Warped Reality**

The room they appeared in – if you could call it a room (Mara wasn't sure if that was the correct term anymore) – was large and roughly oblong. It was white and had tall pillars placed at even spots around the chamber. They reached up towards an invisible ceiling -- or perhaps it was that the ceiling was so high that they couldn't see it. White mist was swirling around them, dancing lightly across the floor.

Mara turned to Anakin. "What sort of a place _is_ this?" she asked in an irritated voice. She had assumed the person they were going to see, this Qui-Gon, would be a bit more… well, _normal._ On the bright side, at least they weren't in the middle of a field of volcanoes.

Anakin shrugged. _"This_," he said, waving a hand around, "is wherever Qui-Gon wants to be. Every time I've come to see him, it's been something different. Grandfather said that he's never seen Qui-Gon repeat one of his illusions after all these years of being dead; the guy has a brilliant imagination."

"_I_ think it's warped," Mara grunted.

"Some of the Jedi Masters from Qui-Gon's time will agree with you," her nephew replied. "I _think_ I've heard Mace Windu say something similar to that before."

Mara frowned. "Mace who?"

Anakin smacked his forehead. "Sorry, Aunt Mara… I forgot you don't know everyone here. Master Windu was a Jedi during the Clone Wars."

"Well, I'm sure I'll have _lots_ of time to meet everyone," Mara said sarcastically. "All of eternity, in fact."

"That's if you can find them," Anakin said with a grin. "I know a lot of the younglings like to play tricks. They _could_ pretend to be older, since you can present yourself here however you want, but since they died young… I guess they just like being kids. Come on, we can't stand around here forever."

"Technically, you could," Mara said as they walked off through the swirling mist, Anakin leading the way around the pillars.

"As long as Qui-Gon decides to hold the illusion," Anakin replied.

Mara rolled her eyes.

They meandered their way around, the mist clouding their vision. Mara wasn't sure how long they walked for – time seemed to stretch out indefinitely. She wasn't tired, though; she supposed she could walk forever now. Spirits couldn't get tired, after all.

"Only if you want to be," Anakin said.

"Stop that!" Mara snapped.

"Sorry," Anakin said quickly. "But," he added after a pause, "you _could_ get tired if you wanted to. Some people do that – usually the ones who've only been here for a little while and haven't quite adjusted. They try to simulate as much of their former lives as possible."

"Like Anakin?"

"Like _me?_"

Mara rolled her eyes. "No! Like your Grandfather!"

Anakin laughed. "Oh! Yes… I know what you're referring to. Um… I suppose Grandfather goes a _little_ overboard sometimes. It drives everyone crazy, but what can you do? The days when he _does_ manage to calm down a bit, everything gets really boring. That's usually when I watch Jacen for fun and see how many stupid things he can do in a day."

Mara scowled. "I _swear_ I'm going to go back haunt him. For eternity."

"Hmm." Anakin stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You _could_ do that – but sparkling blue ghosts _do_ tend to attract attention. Most of the time."

"What do you mean, _most_ of the time?" Mara demanded, her eyes flashing.

"Well, people can choose to block you out, if they want," Anakin said simply, shrugging. "I think I've told you that—"

"Yes, well, there goes my entire plan!"

"You can refine it!" Anakin suggested, grinning. "I'm sure you can find a way to make sure that Jacen can't ignore you." He paused. "I think I know who to ask…"

Mara turned abruptly towards her nephew as she read his thoughts. _"No_, Anakin. Definitely not."

"Why not? He's good at that kind of thing!"

"_And_ he's completely crazy!"

"Yeah, that might be a slight effect from trying to blot out his years as Sith Lord, but Aunt Mara… come_ on,_ it'll be fun!"

Mara reached out to grab her nephew by the shoulders in order to shake some sense into him, but her hands went right through him. Yelping in surprise, she quickly drew her hands back.

"Yeah, don't do that," Anakin said, trying to conceal a grin and failing miserably. "It really doesn't get you anywhere and it's also rude, right?"

"Sure."

"Come on, we better find Qui-Gon."

"By wandering around aimlessly?"

"No," Anakin said. "By flying. I'm getting bored with walking."

"_Flying?!" _Mara shouted.

"I like flying," Anakin said. "Don't you?"

"Well, yes," Mara spluttered, "but there's no ship, no… wait, can't you just imagine one?"

"You could," Anakin replied. "But who would want to do that when you can fly without one?"

With that, he slowly rose up in the air and crossed his legs so he was sitting, once again, unsupported in mid-air.

Mara gaped at him.

"Oh, come on, Aunt Mara, haven't you gotten over that fact yet?"

"But, but…" She paused, noting how ridiculous she must sound. "Oh _fine!"_

With that, she let go of her concentration and found herself shooting up into the air and zooming past her nephew. Quickly, she caught herself before she went too high and concentrated on staying in one spot. Anakin flew upwards to join her.

"You let go of things a _little_ too quickly there," he said.

"I noticed," Mara retorted.

"Be careful not to wipe your mind blank unless you want to have an… interesting experience of roaming about as nothing," Anakin said. "A lot of weird stuff can happen when you're not thinking about it."

"I noticed," Mara repeated grouchily.

"Well, if that makes you mad, ignore it and let's fly!" Anakin was grinning again, looking very much like a two-year old who had just received a present. "Flying's fun!"

With that, he soared off through the air, just skimming above the white mist. Mara followed him at the same pace but without all of the fancy twists and turns and pirouettes that Anakin seemed to enjoy performing so much.

After a while of soaring through the air, Mara came to an abrupt stop.

"Anakin, stop doing loop-the-loops for a moment and come here," she said sharply as her nephew went zooming past her.

Anakin froze upside-down and grinned up at her. "What?" he asked.

Mara shook her head. This was getting completely out of hand. Ghosts, it seemed, had absolutely no grip on reality.

"That's because there's no reality to grip," Anakin replied to her thoughts.

Mara sighed exasperatedly. "Never mind. Ignore the fact that I thought that. Are we ever going to find this Qui-Gon?"

"Well…" Anakin paused. "He's definitely _here_, but maybe he doesn't want to be found."

"Or you could have just asked to see me," a new voice said.

Mara spun around, accidentally performing a stupid-looking twirl in mid-air. Sitting cross-legged in mid-air and looking quite calmly at her was a middle-aged man with long, greying hair. He was dressed in Jedi robes and he was looking at her with interest.

"Hello, Mara Jade," he said. "I am Qui-Gon Jinn."

"Pleasure," Mara replied shortly. "Where the hell have you been this entire time?"

"Around," he said. "Nearby. Close. In close proximity or any other noun you would like to use."

Mara did not smile.

"This isn't amusing," she said.

"No, it isn't," Qui-Gon said agreeably, nodding his head. "I wasn't too pleased myself when I showed up here."

"That's not what Bastila said," Anakin interrupted. "She told me that you were quite happy to show up here and found it 'exciting.'"

"Bastila's been telling you stories, I take it," Qui-Gon said. "She tends to exaggerate."

"I like her stories!" Anakin exclaimed defensively. "It's interesting to learn how things were back… well, a long time ago."

"Anakin," Mara bit out, "be quiet, please."

"Sure, Aunt Mara."

"I believe you might have an answer to a question I have," Mara told Qui-Gon.

The Jedi Master crossed his arms. "That is what Anakin has led you to believe. Since you do not have the acquired training to block your thoughts from the rest of us yet, I know which question you want to ask. Everyone asks it when they first come here, be they youngling or Jedi Master. Even Yoda asked it. The sad truth, Mara, is that no one really knows what is going on. When we die, this is where we come – to a place where there _are_ no binds on reality. It can be as peaceful or as hectic as you want. Some, like Anakin – well, both of them, to be precise – prefer to live a little more hectically while others, like Yoda, prefer the peace and quite of their own minds."

Mara stared blankly at him.

"That's what you call an explanation?"

Qui-Gon shrugged. "It is the best we can think of. Once in a while, there's a meeting between the spirits who want to discuss the reality of the afterlife and we try to find answers to our unanswerable questions. Because the questions are unanswerable, we have not yet found the answers."

Mara blinked at him.

"You make no sense."

"Can you think of a time when anything made sense?" Qui-Gon responded.

Mara was about to reply when a child appeared out of nowhere and came running towards Qui-Gon, supported by nothing as they were still high up in the air. The kid had sandy-blonde hair that fell in his bright blue eyes. His skin was streaked with grey ash, as were his clothes. A familiar-looking lightsaber was hanging from his belt.

"Qui-Gon!" the kid exclaimed, his voice whiny. "Obi-Wan beat me! _Again!"_

Anakin broke out in a laugh that seemed like it would last for eternity. Mara turned to him and saw that there were tears streaming down his cheeks, he was laughing so hard.

"What is it?" she asked, exasperated. "I don't get it."

Anakin put a finger to his lips and motioned towards Qui-Gon and the kid.

"Well, what can I say?" Qui-Gon said. "It's your own fault for challenging him for what I believe is the forty-second thousandth time."

"But it's not fair!" the kid exclaimed.

"No, it's not," Qui-Gon agreed, "but Obi-Wan is destined to win this game you two play every time, so I wouldn't complain. Find something better to do with your time. How is Padmé? And your mother? You haven't seen either of them for some time."

"I just saw Padmé," the kid replied, his tone becoming less whiny and a smile breaking out on his face. "Mom made a garden for her that looks like Naboo – she wanted to pick flowers like she used to with Ryoo and Pooja. Padmé and Mom are still there."

Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "Then why don't we go visit them?"

The kid grinned. "Yes!"

Qui-Gon nodded in Mara and Anakin's direction. "I shall see you two later," he said as his image faded away.

The kid turned and winked at Mara and Anakin before he, too, disappeared. He left them alone, floating high above the floor in a vast chamber that was quickly losing its realism and was quickly reverting to a white blankness.

"Who was that?" Mara asked. She was confused beyond belief.

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment and suddenly they were both standing on the solid floor of a apartment that overlooked a flow of traffic. The sun was setting, casting a red glow across the sky. Mara blinked in surprise; Anakin was really quite proficient at these illusions. He hadn't overlooked a single detail. If Mara hadn't known better, she would have thought she was back in the world of the living.

"That's because we're _in_ the world of the living," Anakin said. "You told me you wanted to haunt Jacen. Well, here we are."

Mara gaped at him.


	5. The Haunting of Jacen Solo

**V. The Attempted Haunting of Jacen Solo**

Anakin grinned back – a very blue grin. He was glowing a bright blue, and all other normal colour drained from him entirely.

Mara glanced down at her body and noticed that she was, too.

_Kriff!_ she thought. _I'm… blue. BLUE!_

"Blue's a nice colour," Anakin quipped. "It suits you well."

"Stop that," Mara snapped. "Stay out of my head, Solo. For kriff's sake… _I'm BLUE._"

"Yeah, you've said that before. Get used to it. You're also transparent."

Mara blinked and glanced down again. Sure enough, she could see right through her feet to the hard floor beneath them. She swallowed hard.

"So," she said slowly, "where… exactly... are we?"

"I already told you," Anakin said, "you wanted to make use of your ghost abilities. That means haunting. There's only one person right now who you feel strongly enough about to allow yourself to haunt. We're at Jacen's place, of course."

"But… what… how…" Mara was stuttering, her green eyes (which were technically blue) wide. _"How?"_

Anakin shrugged. "Easy," he told her. "Well…" He made a face. "Not really _all_ that easy. You can come back and _watch_ but he requires a good deal of skill to communicate with the living. You can watch all you want."

Mara frowned. "How is this possible?" she asked. "I remember Luke telling me that it was difficult – extremely difficult – for a person's spirit to come back. He mentioned that even Obi-Wan could not stay in contact forever, that he had to move on—"

"That's true," Anakin said. "We can't stay here forever. Lucky for you, I'm pretty good at these things. I get bored after a while and start practicing jumping between worlds. It gives me some fun. Grandfather told me that I have a 'natural talent' for these kinds of things. No offense, Aunt Mara—" he grinned impishly at her for a moment, "—but I doubt that if I hadn't brought you here, you wouldn't be able to get your wish. Still, the effect isn't permanent. I think we have about… oh, ten minutes? Maybe fifteen. So – get haunting."

Mara stared at him. "Pardon?"

Anakin waved a hand at her. "Go on! Go haunt Jacen. I know you want to."

"But Anakin, I don't even—"

Anakin raised his eyebrows. Mara stopped speaking and looked at him quizzically.

"What?"

Without saying a word, Anakin folded his arms, his lips twitching. He looked like he was trying to suppress a grin.

Realizing that he was laughing about something she couldn't see, Mara turned around – and ended up staring directly into the face of her murderer.

Jacen looked the same as he did on that fateful day when he had killed her, except that he looked more tired, more exhausted. That pleased Mara for a moment, until Jacen did _another _thing that drove her wild. As if to add insult to that fact that he had _murdered _her, Jacen promptly walked right through her. Mara did not feel a thing – she was incorporeal after all – but still the fact that he could just _walk right through her_ without even noticing it was offensive. She clenched her fists and gnashed her teeth – or, as that didn't quite work with an incorporeal body, the ghost equivalent of those actions.

Anakin chuckled.

"What?" she hissed.

"He doesn't know we're _here_, Aunt Mara," Anakin told her. "You're going to have to try a little harder than that to… you know… make contact."

"I don't want to _make contact!"_ Mara shouted. "I want to KILL him!"

Anakin made a face. "Um… I think killing isn't in the realm of possibility, Mara. It's off the schedule. You'll have to settle for something else."

Mara's eyes went flat. "Fine… I'll do just that. Why did you bring me here in the first place?"

"Because you wanted to come."

"But what about _you,_ Anakin? How do you feel about this and – more particularly – that _thing_?" She pointed shaking finger in Jacen's direction.

Anakin glanced at his estranged brother and shrugged. "He's a kriffing idiot. But the thing is, as much as I hate what he's done and who he is right now, I've learned to let go. It's hard to learn at first, but you get used to the idea of letting everything go once you've been living… erm… that's not the right term, is it?"

Mara glared at him. "No," she said acidly, "it isn't."

Anakin pursed his lips. "Hmm… I _knew _it wasn't. Um…" He was obviously running out of steam. "Oh, what the hell – _my point is_, once you've been living in a world that has no boundaries or rules, where anything can happen at all, you learn to be accepting. You've only been dead for a little while, Mara. You'll get used to it."

"No, I won't."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Trust me."

Mara's nostrils flared. "Fine, Solo. Just fine. Here's the deal: I've been an assassin, a smuggler and a Jedi. Killing has been my job for most of my life. Now, all of a sudden, I can't do that anymore because I'm an incorporeal being that glows blue." She waved a glowing blue hand in her nephew's face for emphasis. "Watch me… adapt." With that she spun around and attempted to walk over to where her other, self-proclaimed Sith Lord of a nephew was walking. Except that she didn't walk – she floated.

Mara ignored the fact that she was disobeying all the laws of physics and continued on her way.

Anakin had brought her to the main room of Jacen's apartment. It was a lounge, more or less, but Jacen didn't seem interested in it. While the two ghosts had been conversing, he had walked across the lounge, briefly glanced out the window at the sunset, and then began to cross the room towards the next door. Mara, with her floating capabilities, passed him and floated through the wall to the next room without waiting for the door to open.

She found herself in Jacen's bedroom.

That was when an idea occurred to her. Anakin had said that she needed to try harder to make contact.

"Anakin!" she called. "I need your help."

Anakin floated through the wall and looked at her curiously. "Oh? What do you have in mind?"

Mara told him. Anakin grinned devilishly.

"You're bad," he told her.

Mara smirked. "I do my best."

* * *

When Jacen Solo, also known as Darth Caedus or – as Anakin liked to call him, Kriffing Sith of a Brother, also known as Kriffing Sith Lord of a Nephew by Mara's standards – walked through the door to his bedroom to catch a few short hours of much-needed sleep, there was someone waiting for him.

Two someones, in fact. One on either side, both of whom he couldn't see.

However, he could hear them.

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen…"_

"_Jacen…"_

Jacen's head snapped up and he looked around wildly. "Who's there?" he called. "I know someone's there."

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen…" _one ghostly voice moaned.

"_Jacen…" _the second one echoed.

Jacen spun around, his body tense. "Who are you?" he asked. "What do you want?"

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen…" _the voices moaned, _"we arrreeee coooominnng fooooor yoooooouuuuuuu…"_

"What? _What?"_ His hand snapped his lightsaber from his belt. "WHO ARE YOU?"

"_Your seeeeecreeets are noooo looonger saaaaafe,"_ one voice crooned. _"Weeee wiiilll telll theeeeeemmm… whaaaaaat yoooou haaave dooone…"_

Jacen's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?!"

* * *

On the incorporeal plain, Mara turned to Anakin.

"You sound ridiculous," she told him. "Like some… musician crooning romantic ballads."

"Hey," Anakin retorted, "you're the one who asked me for help! Don't complain about my style. _All_ ghosts are supposed to sound like bad crooners or haven't you seen enough horror holodramas?"

Mara scowled. "Just stop it, all right?"

Anakin shrugged. "It's _your_ haunting."

"Thanks, Anakin," Mara said acidly. "Just thanks."

* * *

Jacen spun around his room, trying to find the source of the voices. They were more than slightly freaking him out.

"Who are you?" he called desperately. "What are you?"

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen…" _the voices whispered. _"Yooooouuu haaad beeeettter ruuuuun!"_

Jacen's eyes flashed. "I am the Sith Lord Darth Caedus!" he shouted. "I run from nothing! I fear nothing!"

"Wanna bet?" a woman's voice asked.

Jacen turned around and shrieked.

Lounging comfortably on his bed, her arms folded across her chest and her legs crossed casually, was Mara Jade Skywalker. Mara Jade Skywalker, his Aunt, the woman he had sacrificed, the Jedi Master whose funeral he had just attended, pretending to grieve just like the rest of his family…

"Did you miss me?" Mara asked.

Jacen gaped at her.

"Oh, really, Jacen," Mara scoffed, "did you think it was _that_ easy getting rid of me? Tell me – since when is the son of Han and Leia Solo such a coward that you had to _poison_ me with a dart instead of killing me directly?"

"How… _how…?"_

"So mighty the Sith Lord," Mara continued, her eyes flashing. "Not."

"You're supposed to be dead!" Jacen accused.

Mara shrugged. "Oh really?" She picked up a nearby pillow, raised her free hand and plunged it through the material. It came out the other side. She wiggled her fingers at him. "Oh, look! I can stick my hands through things. What an _amazing_ ability I've picked up! Oh wait… I'm _dead._ That's the reason." She chucked the pillow at Jacen. He was too busy gaping at her to notice; the pillow hit him in the stomach with such force that he collapsed in surprise.

"I may be dead, Caedus," Mara said, "but you're certainly _not_ getting rid of me that easily. And also – keep in mind that if you _ever_ hurt another member of my family again, I will be sticking around for much longer. And you can never, ever get rid of me."

"How… is… this… _possible?" _Jacen snarled. He threw the pillow back at her. Mara didn't even flinch as it passed right through her glowing blue body.

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen… Jaaaaaaaceeeeen… Jaaaaaaaceeeeen…"_

"What was that?!" Jacen squeaked.

"The voices don't like you," Mara said simply. "In fact, they're _very_ angry with you."

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen… yoooouuu've beeen a veeeeerrry naaaaaaauuugghhhtyyy Siiiitthhh Looooorrddd…"_

Jacen frowned for a moment. "What the hell?" he said.

"_A veeeerrrry, veeeerrry, baaaaaaadddd Siiitthhh Looooord… Graaaandpaa Vaaaaaderrr is _veeeeery _crooosss wiiiith yoooouuu riiiiight nooow—"_

"Vader was a weakling!" Jacen hissed. "I am ashamed to call him _Grandfather!"_

"I'll pass that along, Jacen," Mara said. "I'm sure Anakin will be glad to hear it."

Jacen turned back to her and raised a hand. "Now, look—"

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen—"_

"Oh, STOP THAT!" Jacen yelled, jumping on the spot.

"_Jaaaaaaaceeeeen—"_

"WHAT PART OF SHUT UP DO YOU _NOT_ UNDERSTAND?!"

"Oooh," Mara said mildly, "temper, temper. What _does_ Tenel Ka think?"

Jacen turned back to her. "Now, _look_—"

"You brought this on yourself, you know, Caedus," Mara interrupted swiftly. "You killed me as a 'sacrifice.' When Luke finds out, you're going to have all the wrath of the Jedi Order combined falling on your head and even if you try to wipe them out like Palpatine and Vader did, some day they'll _find_ a way to get back at you. And what's to stop me from going to Luke right _now_ and telling him _everything?_ How's _that_ on your conscience?"

"Shut up--!"

"Oh, and one more thing, Jacen," Mara added, "I'm not _going_ to 'shut up.' You killed me, and now you're going to deal with the consequences. That means that I'm going to be following—"

"SHUT UP!"

"—YOU AROUND FOREVER!" Mara shouted, finally standing up and rising slightly off the bed and into the air. "Got that? FOREVER! There's no peace and quiet for Sith Lords! You've got one victim who's come back from the dead _intent _on haunting you for the rest of you miserably pathetic life and—"

"Umm…Mara?"

"—and you're just going to have to deal with it, 'cause I'm coming back as many times as I want, you kriffing, son of a –"

"Aunt Mara?"

"WHAT?!"

"Your ten minutes have expired."

"_What…?"_

Mara blinked. Jacen's apartment had faded, as had the Sith Lord himself, and she and Anakin were standing in whiteness. Mara spun around and stared into Anakin's face.

"I was just getting started!"

Anakin shrugged. "Can't help that. You're going to have to learn on your own."

"AARGH!"

"Besides," Anakin added, "too much anger is bad for you. Although," he pursed his lips, "I think what you're experiencing is more in the realms of exasperation than anything else."

Mara opened her mouth to reply when someone's ecstatic voice echoed all around them.

"I BEAT HIM, I BEAT HIM! PADMÉ, MOM, QUI-GON – I DID IT! I BEAT OBI-WAN!"

Mara glanced at Anakin. He grinned apologetically.

"Now we're _never_ going to hear the end of it," Mara groaned.

"Welcome to the afterlife," Anakin said.


	6. It Doesn't Really Matter

**VI. It Doesn't Really Matter**

Mara turned to her nephew, her face disgruntled.

"Can we go back?" she asked vehemently. "I'm not finished with him yet."

Anakin folded his arms. _"I_ think you are." He was back to normal colouring, as she was. It made Mara feel a little better that they weren't blue and transparent – even though both of them were floating in what qualified as mid-air. However, she was still offended that her time limit in the world of the living had run out before she had had a chance to properly chew Jacen out. Anakin's comment only served as a way to irk her already exasperated emotions.

"_You?"_ she asked. _"You_ think _I'm_ finished?"

Anakin spread his hands. "Give it a rest, Aunt Mara," he said. "The afterlife is supposed to be peaceful."

Mara snorted. _"Right._ An insane place where people can 'fly' and Anakin Skywalker is running around challenging people to duels?"

"He's enjoying himself."

"In a violent way. _That's_ the farthest thing from peaceful."

"He can't hurt anyone, and he wouldn't dream of hurting anyone, either. It's his way of having fun, Aunt Mara." Anakin shrugged. "'Peaceful' means different things to different people. Some of those who make it to this world find peace in meditation and being alone – like Yoda, for example. Others enjoy socializing. And yes, some enjoy running around having lightsaber duels."

"Must be something in the Skywalker genes, then," Mara grunted.

Anakin erupted in laughter. Mara stood still, folding her arms and glaring at him, waiting for her nephew to finish laughing. _She_ didn't see what was so funny.

Suddenly – while Anakin was still laughing – the whiteness around them dissipated into an expansive garden. Mara noted the change and immediately spun on her heel, looking around. There was soft grass beneath her feet, a clear blue sky stretching above her, and well-kept decorative flower beds and trees all around. Mara thought she could hear a trickle of water from somewhere nearby. A fountain, perhaps.

"Mara!" someone called, and she soon saw a young, twenty-something version of her father-in-law running to greet her. His face was flushed, his blue eyes sparkling, and he was grinning with glee. "Anakin!"

Anakin waved in greeting. "Hey, granddad."

"I beat Obi-Wan," Mara's father-in-law announced proudly. "Finally."

"Good for you," Anakin replied, grinning.

"Do you want to know how?" Anakin Skywalker continued. "I swear it's the most devious trick ever invented."

Mara rolled her eyes sighed – loudly.

"What's the matter, Mara?" Anakin Sr. asked, turning to her.

"I just don't understand this… _delight_ you take in having lightsaber duels," she explained, frustrated.

Anakin Sr. shrugged. "It's fun."

"Told you!" Anakin Jr. crowed.

Mara threw her hands up in the air. "All right! Enough! I get it!"

"No you don't," Anakin Sr. told her pointedly. "But you will."

Mara arched an eyebrow. "Isn't that just slightly cryptic?"

"Oh, of course!" Luke's father grinned at her. Mara had a sudden flash of memory as she remembered how Luke used to smile at her – a smile that she doubted she would see very often now that she was… well, dead, and he was still alive.

_Kriffing Jacen,_ she thought viciously. _He should die._

Anakin and Anakin glanced at each other.

"What?" Mara snapped, knowing that they had heard her thoughts. "He does!"

"Hmm." Anakin Sr. tapped his chin. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He directed this at his grandson.

Anakin Jr. grinned. "Can't you tell?"

"I think you are."

"Yep. Can't _you_ tell?"

Mara groaned. _She_ knew what they were thinking, too. Their theatrics were beginning to get on her nerves.

"Theatrics are fun, Aunt Mara," Anakin began to explain, "they're—"

"Anakin, stop." She held up a hand. "I know exactly what you're thinking, so do you need to explain everything to me? You and your grandfather are _going_ to make me go to this little 'family reunion' of yours, so I might as well go or I'll never hear the end of it. End of discussion. Let's get going before I find my way back to the land of the living and finishing giving Jacen the thing he deserves most."

Anakin Sr. chuckled. "We don't really have very far to go, Mara," he said blandly. "After all, this is everywhere and… erm… every_when_, I suppose, so technically the family is 'right around the corner.'"

And sure enough, they were – quite suddenly, too. Mara jumped in surprise as several people appeared out of nowhere, talking quietly amongst themselves as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

The group was sitting in comfortable-looking white lounge chairs. Mara recognized two of them – Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were unmistakable. They were joined by two women, both of whom Mara did not know, but felt like she should. One was young – somewhere in her twenties – with long, thick brown hair and a calm expression that reminded Mara of her sister-in-law. The second woman was older, but her face was unlined and sparkled with mirth.

"There they are," the second woman said, raising her head and waving in greeting.

"Hi, Mom!" Anakin Sr. called. He grinned. "Did you hear that I finally beat Obi-Wan?"

Luke's grandmother smiled patiently. "Yes, dear, I did. Obi-Wan was just telling us about it."

"Remember, Anakin," Obi-Wan said dryly, "I'm still beating you about a thousand to one."

Anakin Sr. crinkled his nose. "Yeah, I know," he said dejectedly. "I think fate's working against me."

The woman who reminded Mara of Leia let out a peal of laughter. "Come, Ani," she said, beckoning him. "Introduce us to our daughter-in-law."

Anakin Sr. walked over to the brown-haired woman and sat down beside her, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"That's Padmé, Aunt Mara," Anakin Jr. began. "She's—"

"Luke's mother, I know," Mara interrupted. Introductions were really very unnecessary when everyone could hear everyone else's thoughts. She nodded a hello to Padmé, and then to Shmi Skywalker, whose name Mara had never heard before, but now knew.

"Welcome, Mara," Shmi said warmly.

Mara nodded. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be welcome or not. Being welcomed by a group of spirits seemed to tell her that she was _absolutely_ leaving the world of the living behind and all her attachments to it—

"Oh, what the hell," Mara murmured under her breath. "I've had enough excuses. It doesn't really matter." With that, she attempted to create her own white lounge chair, failed miserably and ended up sitting down on a lopsided, square-ish white box, much to the amusement of those present.

"Here," her nephew said. "Let me help." Anakin Jr. concentrated for a moment, and then Mara's dilapidated creation was replaced with a comfortable white lounge chair that Mara sat down, willingly, on. Several moments later, her nephew joined her.

"This is… an odd sort of family reunion," Mara commented.

"Yes," Padmé said. Her voice was a little sad. "We were hoping that things would have turned out differently… that our children would come first, followed by _their_ children and so on, but the Galaxy has never stopped being in turmoil and I guess our family has the hero-complex gene."

Both Anakins chuckled at that.

"I think Tahiri told me once that I had a hero complex," Anakin Jr. said.

"I think you've told me that I have a hero complex more than once," Anakin Sr. said at the same time.

Anakin and Anakin glanced at each other and rolled their eyes.

Padmé and Shmi sighed.

Mara raised an eyebrow. "Is it always like this?" she asked no one in particular.

"Most days," Qui-Gon told her.

"All the time," Shmi added.

"They just can't help it," Obi-Wan said. "It must be in the blood."

"And the name," Padmé finished.

Mara stared at them in silence for a moment, mulling things over in her mind. She wished Luke was here – everything was better when Luke was with her. The farmboy was the only person in the entire Galaxy – real and incorporeal – who could calm her down.

"Luke needs to live, Mara," Shmi said quietly. "The Galaxy needs him. Only he can protect it from Jacen – and I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse."

Mara gritted her teeth. "They might be different if I had a _chance_ to go and _talk_ to Jacen again."

Anakin Sr. laughed. "Ha! No." He shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Mara. You'll have to find your own way there again, and talking to Jacen… might be difficult for you. You could follow him to every place he ever goes and never manage to speak a word to him."

"He noticed me last time!" Mara exclaimed.

"That was once," her father-in-law replied firmly. "I doubt that you would be able to do it again."

"Why?"

"Because that's the way it works," Qui-Gon said. "You're dead, Mara. That is a fact. The world of the living does not matter anymore. All you can do is hope that your loved ones will be able to live full lives—"

"—and with Jacen out there, I doubt that any of them will be able to do just that!" Mara exclaimed.

"It doesn't really matter," Qui-Gon answered. "Death is a part of nature. A part of the Force. When they die, they will come to you."

Mara folded her arms. "Well… yes, perhaps, but –"

"I know it's in our nature to wish no ill upon our loved ones," Obi-Wan said, "but they will come when it is their time and there is nothing you can do about it. Mara – rest and relax. Your work is over."

"You can have some fun," Anakin Jr. added. "I'll teach you how to fly."

"There are no limits," Padmé said.

"It does not matter that you are dead," Shmi told her, speaking quietly. "You are at peace here. You can do whatever you want. Look at Anakin."

"Which one?" Qui-Gon asked mildly.

There were collective chuckles of laughter.

"You know this isn't easy for me," Mara pointed out, disgruntled. "I was ripped from my life before I was ready to go—"

"You'll adjust," Obi-Wan said.

"Look at it this way," Anakin Jr. interrupted. "Take this hypothetical situation for a moment. If you had been so lucky as to have had a steady life where you could spend every moment with your family and give them good advice when you discovered they were erring (for example, Jacen), your-existence-would-have-made-a-rather-interesting-idyll-and-you-might-have-lived-and-died-a-very-decent-indiwiddle—"

He was spoke faster and faster as he went. Mara raised an eyebrow.

"_Indiwiddle?"_ she asked. "Anakin, what the hell does that mean?"

She looked at the others, but they merely shrugged.

"He likes to invent words," Padmé said. "They both do. From time to time. I think it happens when they're bored."

"Oh," said Mara. "I think he's getting a bit carried away with his hypothetical situation."

Anakin was, in fact, still speaking – and very rapidly, at that.

"—thisparticularlyrapidunintelligiblepatterisn'tgenerallyheardandifitisitdoesn'tmatter!" Anakin finished with gusto and at such a speed that no one _could_ actually untangle his words.

Mara stared at him, incredulous. This was the final straw. Quite obviously, the afterlife had made him insane.

Anakin laughed. "I'm not crazy! Don't you see, Aunt Mara?" he said, his blue eyes gleaming. "It doesn't really matter now. Go, relax. Have fun. Be yourself. I learned how to do it – and believe me, it took me a while. I think it did, for all of us."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin Sr. reddened at that. "Please don't mention your death, Obi-Wan," he said. "Bad topic for me. Bad memories."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Anakin, for the last time, I _forgive_ you for that and it was _not_ you who killed me."

"Yeah, but still…"

Mara folded her hands together. "So, what I'm supposed to understand," she said slowly, "is that nothing matters because I'm dead?"

The Skywalker family and friends glanced at each other and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Pretty much."

"That's what we all did."

"You need to let go," Shmi said.

"All right," Mara said slowly. "I think I can do that."

Her nephew grinned. "Great! I'll teach you how to fly properly, then! 'Cause nothing really matters, right?"

Mara wasn't paying attention. This new world was entirely insane, she decided, and she might as well go insane with it. She was lost in thought, thinking about home and family and flying. She thought of Han and Leia, and of Luke. She saw Ben in her mind's eye several times as she played her memories of her son over and over again. She briefly wondered what Ben might be doing at this moment when—

"Oh, KRIFF!" she exclaimed.

"What's the matter?" six voices asked in perfect unison.

No one had ever said that being a Force Ghost was boring. They just said that death was peaceful. It was something which Mara Jade Skywalker knew with every fibre of her undead being was _not_ true when you were related to the Skywalkers.

_THE END_

* * *

_Final part posted with extreme apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan and their opretta __Ruddigore__ for my lame attempt at twisting the "Matter, Patter Trio" for my own abominable uses._

* * *

**HUGE thank you to EVERYONE who read! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS! You all rock! **

**Idri**


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